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So it’s been several months since the breakdown of your relationship and you have been working through the process the best you can.

Everyone moves through the emotional stages of separation and divorce differently – each in their own time and way. I encourage you to take a look at how far you’ve come and acknowledge and congratulate yourself for all your hard work.

Here are 10 useful ways to help you to manage your emotions through this difficult time:

1. Know That Trips Down Memory Lane Are Inevitable

There will be times when you think about the good and the bad times, the laughter and the tears. Don’t fight it, accept that this is part of the process and allow yourself to feel all your emotions.

2. Trust That You’re On The Right Track

The end of a relationship brings major change, especially when children are involved. Change can be challenging and is not always easy. Trust that you are on the right track and you’re strong and can handle anything that comes your way.

3. Identify The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

It’s healthy to acknowledge the reasons why your relationship didn’t work. Make a list of all the good and bad characteristics, behaviors and circumstances that made up your relationship. Take time to reflect on these things and recognize what lessons you can learn and take into a new relationship.  

4. Take Responsibility For The Role You Played

If a relationship fails, both parties are responsible. This may be hard for you to hear or accept but in any relationship both people are responsible for the health and stability of that relationship. By taking responsibility for the part you played in the breakdown of your relationship and letting go of fault and blame, you can fully let go of the past and move forward, towards a happy future.

5. Grab Your Support Team

Whenever you feel the need reach out to a trusted friend for support and comfort. Often by simply sharing your feelings with someone else the intensity of your emotions will lighten and you will instantly feel better.

6. Look After Yourself

A healthy body promotes a healthy mind. So take extra care and make sure you’re getting enough rest, nourishment, exercise and time out.

7. Prioritize Me Time

Take time out to do things you enjoy. Have fun, let your hair down and enjoy the simple pleasures that life has to offer.

8. Be Honest With Yourself About Your Feelings

Take the time to sit with your feelings, what are they really about? What is the issue the source of the discomfort? Is it really about your ex, or something bigger? Often the intensity of our feelings has little to do with the current situation, sometimes feelings, pain and beliefs from past events are triggered heightening our reaction to the current situation. Dig deep and ask yourself where are these feelings coming from, are they familiar? Try and separate the past and the present, by doing so you may find that you’re not as upset as you thought you were. 

9. Be Grateful For All Your Blessings

Some people find it useful to keep a gratitude journal. Everyday write down all the things you’re grateful for. You will quickly see that you have a lot of great things in your life and this will help you to see a positive, fulfilling future.

10. Build Your Self Confidence

Relationship breakups can cause major havoc to your self-esteem. Take the time to get to know yourself and discover what a great person you are! Yes, you!

Once you have rediscovered all your wonderful qualities and skills you will realise that you can live happily without your ex and that true happiness exists within you.

About the author:  Rebecca is the Director of Two Homes Pty Limited. http://www.twohomes.com.au was created specifically to help, educate and empower separated parents.

Visit http://www.twohomes.com.au to easily access local information, resources and tools about separation, divorce, parenting and moving forward.

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