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Mastering mathematics is absolutely essential for future opportunities in school and careers. Your children will need to reach a certain level of competency in math to take many advanced high-school courses, to be admitted to college, and to have a wide variety of career choices. Here’s how you can help them maximize their math-smarts.

1. Make sure your children understand mathematical concepts

Otherwise, math becomes a meaningless mental exercise of just memorizing rules and doing rote drills. Have your children manipulate objects to figure out basic concepts. For addition, they could add one, two, or more blocks to a pile of blocks and then tell you how many blocks are in the pile.

2.Help them master the basic facts

Mastery of a basic fact means that children can give an answer in less than three seconds. Considerable drill is required for children to give quick responses. Use flash cards to help your children learn the basic facts. When they don’t know an answer, have them lay out objects to solve the problem.

3. Teach them to write their numbers neatly

Twenty-five percent of all errors in solving math problems can be traced back to sloppy number writing. Improve your child’s number-writing skills by having them trace over numbers that you have written. Suggest they use graph paper to keep the numbers in problems neatly aligned.

4. Provide help immediately when your children need it

Math is one subject in which everything builds upon what has been previously learned. For example, a failure to understand the concept of percent leads to problems with decimals. If a teacher is unable to help your children, provide the help yourself or use a tutor or learning center.

5. Show them how to handle their math homework

Doing math homework reinforces the skills your children are learning in class. Teach them to begin every assignment by studying the textbook or worksheet examples. Then have them redo the examples before beginning the assignment to make sure they understand the lesson.

6. Encourage your children to do more than the assigned problems

Considerable practice is necessary for your children to hone their math skills. If the teacher only assigns the even problems, having them do some of the odd ones will strengthen their skills. The more time your children spend practicing their skills, the sooner they will develop confidence in their abilities.

7. Explain how to solve word problems

Mathematicians have an expression: To learn to solve problems, you must solve problems. Teach your children to read a word problem several times. Also, have them draw a picture or diagram to describe it. Make it easier for them to understand the steps in a problem by teaching them to substitute smaller numbers for larger ones.

8. Help your children learn the vocabulary of mathematics

They will never get a real feeling for math nor learn more advanced concepts without an understanding of its vocabulary. Check that your children can define new terms. If not, have them use models and simple problems to show you they understand how the term is used.

9. Teach them how to do math "in their head"

One of the major ways to solve problems is by using mental math. Kids should use this method frequently instead of using pencil and paper or a calculator. When helping your children with a problem, help them determine when it would be appropriate to use mental math.

10. Make mathematics a part of your child’s daily life

Mathematics will become more meaningful when your kids see how important it is in so many real-life situations. Encourage them to use math in practical ways. For example, ask them to space new plants a certain distance apart, double a recipe, and pay bills in stores.

This morning, the magical Madeleine turns ten years old! It seems like only yesterday I was covered in spit-up, walking up and down our busy street, praying like crazy that anything, anything at all would help her settle down so we could all get some much needed sleep. I had no idea how much joy and happiness being the mother of such a wild, warm-hearted girl would bring me. Here’s my list of ways to love a 10 year old today and everyday as she enters a new chapter of her growing up adventure.

1. Put her at the head of the table

That’s right. Your girl has things to say and she needs an audience. By making sure she gets a turn now and then at the head of the table, you let her and your family know it’s totally okay for your girl to command the attention of a room. You’ll be surprised at how savvy she is and how much she has to say about things that matter to you, too.

2. Ask her to tell you her dreams and take notes

Inside every 35 year old mother is a ten year old girl trying to get out. Now is the time to give her hopes and aspirations full airtime–these tender dreams hold the keys to the truest version of her best self. Don’t be scared if she says she wants to be the next Hannah Montana touring the globe–little girl rock star dreams have more to do with the deep wish to be seen and respected than anything else.

3. Let her glory in every single moment of inflated self-confidence

Did she make the honor roll? Discover she can swim the length of the pool after all? Let her run with her happiness and pride as far as it will take her. Too often we encourage our girls to be demure and modest when a healthy dose of uber-confidence will take her so much further.

4. Ask other people to be quiet so she can finish her story

She’s chatty, I know, but wouldn’t you rather know every last thing on her heart instead of watch her sulk in the back of the car? Turn off your need to get her in line and take a turn listening to the twists and turn of her drama-loving life.

5. Indulge her promiscuous love of books

Turn her curiosity about grown-up things into a sophisticated knowledge of good literature. Now is the time to introduce her to the tried and true favorites of your own girlhood along with some new titles that will stretch her mind. This year Madeleine and I have had interesting talks about Iran and growing up during a revolution thanks to the brilliance of the Persepolis series (mother advisory required).

6. Turn up the music

It’s not my favorite thing to do, always preferring the goodness of NPR to any top 40 pop music torture, but nothing means more to Madeleine than five minutes of her favorite music blaring out the windows on the ride to the grocery store. I don’t understand it completely, but there’s a certain kind of joy for her in this that you just can’t duplicate anywhere else.

7. Remind her she doesn’t have to be in a hurry to grow up

She’s trying out her power moves, I know–groaning and moaning when you ask the simplest thing or waiting to see if you’ll lose it if she dares give you the eye roll. Don’t forget that underneath all that attitude is a little girl who probably still needs to sit on your lap, to have you brush out her hair or hold her every once in a while as she drifts gently off to sleep. Be bold in asking for hugs and insisting on tenderness between you in quiet moments. She needs it and you do, too.

8. Institute girls’ night out

Admit it, there’s a part of you that is dying to see the latest, greatest girl movie with all the cheese whiz and over-the-top acting. Here’s your chance to do girlhood all over again, so do it right by giving your girl all the things you missed the first time around–time alone with your mother learning what it means to be a girl from her unique perspective.

9. Be her best cover

She’s keenly aware of where your family rules fall in the continuum of lenient to strict in the kid stratosphere. Help her navigate the differences by being her best excuse when the invitations on the table feel inappropriate for your family’s sense of sensibility. The same works in reverse when she knows your invitation will be met with reserve by more cautious parents. Let her know you’ll help her not be embarrassed by the inevitable disconnects.

10. Dance with your girl like it’s 1999

She’ll love laughing at your moves and you’ll be delighted to learn as she shows you a thing or two. Let her see it’s okay to be silly, to not do it right and to let your heart go–especially for the sake of good-hearted fun.

What would have done your heart good at age 10? Add to our list in the comments below.

Have you ever had one of those days where you could barely squeeze in 5 minutes to use the bathroom? At one time I had my 3 little ones in diapers, it’s a wonder my bladder didn’t explode! Or I could’ve used a diaper myself.  As a busy parent, we hardly have a moment to ourselves. While parenting our children is undoubtedly the most rewarding job in the world, the joy can be robbed if we are overworked.

We cannot be at our best as a parent if we are short on energy and short on our temper.

Here are three signs that you need a break –

• You want to scream, cry, and throw something across the room all at the same time.
• You want to gorge 10 pounds of chocolate at one sitting.
• You want to curl up in a fetal position.

Don’t let yourself get to that breaking point!

The ideal situation would be to get a babysitter for 2 hours and have that time to yourself. However, we all know it is unrealistic to have that luxury everyday. However, we can be creative in carving out some moments where we can give ourselves a quick lift. It will make all the difference.

I’ve found these 10 ways to rejuvenate my energy in the midst of a busy day. These work even with the kids around:

1. Get some fresh air

I know it can be an effort to get out of the house, but believe me, it is worth the effort. Pack the kids up in a stroller, take a snack and juice for them, and go outside for a short walk. Breathe deeply! Look up at the sky, enjoy the beauty of the day. Take a camera with you and take pictures of flowers or a butterfly. Have your children collect pebbles, leaves and flowers. That keeps them well-occupied. I love looking at the houses in my neighborhood while getting landscape ideas and criticizing weird choice of paint colors! Occasionally I’d find a neighbor to chat with. Going outside gives you a freshness in your day.

2. Make yourself a hot cup of spice tea

Sit down and drink it slowly. Sometimes I put a warm towel over your eyes for one minute.

3. Start making plans to do something for yourself

Call the babysitter, make a hair appointment, schedule a lunch with a friend. Having something to look forward to will lift your spirits.

4. Do jumping jacks or jump rope with the kids

A little exercise to get the blood flowing will actually give you more energy than sitting down. I have a very old Jane Fonda aerobics tape that I follow once in a while with my children jumping around along with me.

5. If you can’t get away to take a shower, the next best thing is wash your face

I like to splash my face with nice warm water for several minutes and scrub with a moisturizing cleaner. Once in a while, I’ll apply a mask. The laughter of the children at the way you look with a mask on is an added benefit! After that, put on fresh make-up, even if you’re not going anywhere. You’ll feel more alive when you look good in the mirror.

6. Call a friend

Call a friend to chat.

7. Turn on the radio to your favorite station

I like listening to talk shows to engage myself in the outside world. Music that promotes a calm atmosphere is good too.

8. Read a joke book or read jokes from a joke website

there are so many good clean jokes on the internet. Make sure you laugh out loud

9. Get food delivered

I generally prefer my own home-cooked meals, but some days, I don’t need the stress of having to cook. It’s also relaxing to eat out of the box so there are no dishes to wash.

10. Give time to yourself

This is the most important one – when your children take a nap, make sure you use that time to clean the house do something for yourself – take a shower, read a book, take a nap!

It’s scary to add it up, but we’ve done animal programs at nearly 3,000 kids’ birthday parties. So, we have seen the best and the worst parties you can possibly imagine. Here are our top 10 ways to make a successful party that kids and parents will remember (for GOOD reasons) for years to come:

1. Limit the number of  guests

Forget inviting the whole class – we suggest 10 or fewer guests for children below the age of 6 years, 15 or fewer guests for ages 6-8 years, and 20 or fewer guests for ages 9-12 years. If your party space is small, reduce those numbers even more. Consider having a second "family" party to keep your numbers down.

2. "Cherry pick" your guests

Come on, you know which kids are "nice" and which can be "naughty," so only invite those kids that you really enjoy having around your child. Forget social obligations, you’re paying big money for this party, so invite only the great kids for a great party.

3. "Please don’t bring additional guests"

If worded gently, it is perfectly acceptable to discourage additional guests. We’ve seen too many nice parties swell from 10 guests up to 25 kids because all the siblings wanted to stay and the hostess was too nice to turn them away. Head it off with a mention in the invitation — we encourage you to blame your party performer for the size restriction.

4. Build a party agenda and stick to it

Yep, plan for every minute of the party and keep those kids busy and focused every second. Plan for a steady stream of activities — craft tables, quiet indoor games, treasure hunts, photo sessions, balloon animals, face painting, performances, etc. And, have EXTRA stuff planned, because they’ll move through your plan faster than expected.

5. Banish the words: "Just play"

Aughhhh! "Just play" will create chaos in about one nanosecond. Boys will be battling the stairs with swords and girls will be chasing each other screaming at decibels that will break glass. You’ll regret it, we promise.

6. Recruit 2 to 3 adult helpers to run the activities

Dads and Grandmas are good, but teachers, coaches and scout leaders are the greatest — they know best how to keep kids focused. Bribe them to give you a hand.

7. Cancel the bounce house

We know you think this is a great baby sitter, but you are guaranteed to be have bonked heads, smashed fingers, tears, and kids who get more pumped up than the bounce house. Not to mention, the liability.

8. Forget the piñata

We can’t tell you how many accidents we’ve witnessed with piñata bats and kids stampeding for candy. Besides, there’s always the one slugger who ruins it for the kids who were patiently waiting their turn.

9. Decorate, decorate, decorate!

Here’s one area where you should go overboard. Turn your house or party venue into your party theme. For instance, for a Birthday Safari, create an indoor jungle, make a passport check-point, have a mess tent, put animal tracks up your front walk. Search online for great ideas.

10. Make food and drinks to match your theme

Yes, pizza is easy. But it lacks all fun and imagination. Search online for great party food ideas to match your theme. Make up theme names for the food — such as Swamp Juice (green Gatorade with pop rocks) or Lizard Tongues (Cheetos). Make it fun!

Children love toys. They come in all sorts of shapes and pieces. But are you aware of the dangers associated with them? What should you keep in mind to keep your child safe with the toys he loves?

1. Follow the age recommendations on the packaging

Many people tend to ignore the age recommendations written on the top box. It is of utmost importance that you should follow what the manufacturer recommends and should not give the toy to your child if he is below the recommended age.

2. If the toy contains small parts, keep in mind the behavior of the child before you buy

Even if he / she is the age recommended by the manufacturer, parents should ask themselves whether their child is mature enough for toys and parts it has and can he handle them with care?

3. Never leave your child unattended when using a toy which has small parts

Always make sure that the child plays in front of you especially when the toys has small parts. Children has a tendency to explore with their mouth. So keep in mind that if you have to attend an important phone call, take the toy with you or bring the phone to the child’s playground.

4. The possibility of the child a toy in her mouth

As I mentioned, children take almost everything inside their mouth. Whenever they do so, tell them "No" and that too in a firm voice. Make sure that the child learns not to take the toys in their mouth as early as possible.

5. Give attention to consumer safety and product recalls of the Department

This information is very important. Keep a track of the defect any user has published about any toy. You can use the internet for searching about any such defect. Do not allow your child to play with toys that you remember are not as safe.

6. Make sure that the marks of the drawing, painting or pencil that you have are non-toxic

Children love drawing and painting. Make sure that the products you get them should have a label saying "Non-Toxic". Ask the dealer about it.

7. Make sure the paint on the toys is also non toxic

As children put  the toys in their mouth, make sure the toys also have the "Non-Toxic" label on them.

8. Make sure that toys are fireproof (Not possible in every case)

 This is very important, for obvious reasons.

9. Make sure that you buy a genuine product and not a cheap imitation

Piracy is a huge problem and it is very much possible that you may end up buying a duplicate branded toy for your child which has all the safety labels but actually is never tested. To avoid this, buy toys from an authorized dealer or you may shop online also. Always ensure that you get what you pay for.

10. Monitor the message or opinion on the toys or video game promotes

These days, a lots of toys and video games promote many unhealthy things like violence, rage, etc. They are required to put a rating sticker stating the content they carry. It is important for you to ensure that the toys the child want are proper for his age.

With the number of obese children in this country continually on the rise, it is more important than ever to pay attention to what your child is eating. Children have also become more sedentary as their favorite types of entertainment have switched from active play to video games.

If you have an overweight child, it is up to you to help him lose weight so that he will be healthier now and as an adult. The eating habits that are developed as a child will carry over into adulthood, so it is important to get him into the habit of eating right while he is still young. Here are 10 tips that will help you guide an overweight child to lose weight and be healthy.

1. Set a great example

by eating healthy food, and working out yourself. It is much easier to promote healthy eating and fitness when you are actually practicing good habits yourself.

2. Stress the importance of good health

and eating correctly, rather than focusing on a number on the scale or a size.

3. Visit the doctor for a checkup

especially if your child seems to be craving sweets, urinating frequently at night or frequently during the day, has blurred vision, or unexplained fatigue. Along with the increase in obesity, juvenile diabetes is on the rise as well as an increasing number of children who are developing adult onset diabetes.

4. Avoid fast food

Fast food is one of the biggest problems for obese children. Portion sizes are overly large, and the food is packed with fat and sugar. Even if you have to cook ahead of time and freeze the meals, avoid the drive thru window.

5. Always have fresh fruits and vegetables available for kids to snack on

One of the healthiest ways for an overweight child to lose weight is to increase the nutritious, high fiber foods that they need for healthy digestion and for their vitamin requirements. Variety is the key to getting everything they need. This will also supply antioxidants which will boost their immune system.

6. Promote physical activity

Can’t seem to get them moving? Start by incorporating some sort of outdoor activity for fifteen minutes every day. It can be shooting baskets, passing a football, or swimming if that is an option. Once they get into the habit, you will likely find them doing it for longer periods of time without having to prompt them. It’s all a matter of finding the activity that they enjoy enough to put the effort into. A new bike, scooter, or pair of skates can go a long way towards encouraging healthy outdoor play.

7. Start with a good, hot breakfast

Kids who skip breakfast or eat sugary toaster pastries can’t function as well and they will be starving early in the day. This leads to more unhealthy snacking when their sugar level drops.

8. Don’t expect them to give up sweets completely

There is nothing wrong with having a small dessert after they have eaten a healthy dinner, just not in place of it.

9. Focus on things you know your child likes and that are good food choices

Make them available so that he chooses them in place of foods that will contribute to the problem.

10. Don’t reward with food

instead choose fun activities, small incentives like stickers or other non-food rewards.

Make changes your child’s diet one meal at a time and try to get him moving by going on family adventures that require getting outside and walking. Working together is the best way to help your overweight child get healthy, and stay that way.

Denise Sanger is the owner of NewCoolToysOnline.com which features a fantastic selection of outdoor toys and outdoor play toys for kids of all ages including toddler outdoor toys.  The company is located in sunny Florida and may be reached at 877-950-7665.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Denise_Sanger

This fall a new group of five- and six year- olds will embark on the first significant milestone of their educational journey— kindergarten. Whether you’ve been through years of preschool or not, the transition into “big kid school” can cause parents and children alike some first-day anxiety. To help ease the transition to independence, Dr. Mary Zurn, vice president of early childhood education at Primrose Schools, suggests several ways parents can prepare their little ones before school starts.

Here are 10 tips to help calm kindergarten jitters:

1. Establish a daily routine

that fits your family’s schedule and ask everyone to do his or her best to stick to it. Begin morning activities at the same time every day. Start at least two weeks before the first day and continue the routine throughout the year.

2. Night-time routines are important too

The whole family can help make mornings easier by taking care of tasks the night before. Pack book bags, complete homework and pick out the next day’s clothes in the evening to avoid morning mayhem.

3. Get your rest

Read a bedtime story early enough in the evening for children to get a good night’s sleep. Many morning issues can be avoided if everyone is rested and ready to begin the day.

4. Read, read, and read some more

It’s often the anticipation of the unknown that makes children anxious about kindergarten. Reading about starting school allows children to imagine their own experience and express their fears. The following books are fun to read and can help children prepare:

• When Mommy and Daddy Go to Work
  
• by Joanna Cole
• First Day by Joan Rankin
• The Babysitter Sings by Phillis Gershator
• Don’t Go by Jane Breskin Zalben

5. Prepare your kindergartener for longer periods of separation in increments

Before leaving your child at school for the first time, have him or her stay with a grandparent or a babysitter for increasingly longer periods of time. This will teach your child to trust that you will always return.

6. Tour the school with your child

Visit the classroom, meet the teacher and tour the playground so the places and faces they will see on the first day feel familiar and safe. Talk about what both of you saw and how fun the different activities looked. Refer to the teacher by name to help your child think of her as a person you know and trust.

7. Set the stage

Talk to your child about kindergarten and help him or her visualize what the day’s activities are likely to be. “On Monday when you go to school, you will see your friends, play on the swings, and read stories. Ms. Smith will be there to help you. It will be a great day! And Mommy or Daddy will be there to take you home when school is over for the day.”

8. Shop for school supplies

Give your child the opportunity to pick out a few items he or she likes to provide a sense of ownership and responsibility in the decision-making process.

9. Say a quick “goodbye” and promise to come back

Give a quick hug and kiss, cheerfully say goodbye and promise to return later. The longer you stay the less confidence your child will have in being “left” at school.

10. Establish a partnership with your child’s teacher

The more comfortable you are with your child’s teacher, the more comfortable your child will be. The more visible the connection between home and school the more secure your child will feel.

With these tips in mind, sit down with your family well before the first day of school, figure out which ideas will work best for you and your child, and start a plan for a stress free start to kindergarten.

Pre-school reading and kindergarten curriculums in most public schools teach the alphabet and its corresponding sounds. However, today more and more school districts are assessing children’s letter name and corresponding sound knowledge prior to enrollment. Why? Because most children come to school with this knowledge. Many children’s television programs teach this content and many parents take it upon themselves to teach their children these concepts as well.

Ironically, even though public school curriculums teach these concepts, schools consider children who have not mastered these concepts to be behind their peers. Therefore, parents should consider applying the following strategies to help their young children get ready to read:

1. Buy a set of alphabet letters cards

Put them at the children’s eye level, on the wall, where your children can easily see them everyday. Review the letter names, in groups of seven, daily. Say the letter name and letter sound of each card. IMPORTANT! A letter sound is a small, short sound. Don’t add vowel sounds after consonants. "C" sound like "k" not CAA. It’s not Ca ba da! It’s "c" "b" "d". When your child masters a set of seven, go onto another set of seven. If you’re unsure about teaching your children letter-sounds, DON’T! Leave it to the classroom teacher.

2. Buy a set of magnetic alphabet letters and put them on the refrigerator

Let your children play with them. Some children are tactile learners. That is, touching the letter shape helps them process and learn the letter’s name.

3. Write your children’s names in block and stick letters (manuscript) clearly and uniformly

And put this on their bedroom doors. NO CURSIVE! Remember, your children are learning a code. Think of it this way – if you were learning and new language that had a different written alphabet (such as Chinese), in order for you to learn this new code/ symbol, the symbols would need to be exactly the same every time in order for you to recognize them and memorize them.

4. Help your children write their names in other ways

Write their names for them, then let them trace over this. Small children have limited motor skills but encourage them to pick up a crayon or large pencil and try to trace the letters.

5. Start reading to your children as soon as they can focus their eyes on the book

Read simple board books every day. Introducing the concept of reading early on sends the message that reading is an important skill. You are also introducing and re-enforcing classroom behaviors such as sitting quietly and listening.

6. Read your children’s favorite books over and over

Start pointing to the words. The muscles in children’s eyes are not fully developed until they are about ten or eleven years old. When you point to the words, you are helping them track along. That is, keeping their place on the page. Also, they hear the word, see the word, then eventually recognize the word. Thus, they develop some sight word capability.

7. Put books in your car

While you drive, let your children entertain themselves turning the pages and looking at the pictures. Change your selection of books regularly.

8. Write notes to family members and young children who are not yet reading

They will feel included and be motivated to learn to read so they can participate (of course read the notes to them until they learn to read).

9. Take your children to the library

Let them pick out books they want you to read to them. Also, choose books you will enjoy reading aloud to them.

10. Buy your children books for presents

Wrap them up in bright paper. After they rip the paper off, read the books to them.

Children who make the connection early on that the sounds and words we make with our mouth can be converted to written letters or words have a much easier time learning to read. By teaching your children the alphabet, reading to them and creating a rich, literate home environment, you are sending the message that reading is an important skill. One they will be eager to learn.

Rearing a child today is amongst one of the most difficult and challenging tasks. Habits learned during childhood are learned forever. how can you make sure that your precious child gets to learn  what he actually should?

1.Be a positive role model

If you’re practicing healthy habits, it’s a lot easier to convince children to do the same. 

2. Get the whole family active

Plan times for everyone to get moving together. Take walks, ride bikes, go swimming, garden or just play hide-and-seek outside. Everyone will benefit from the exercise and the time together. 

3. Limit TV, video game and computer time

These habits lead to a sedentary lifestyle and excessive snacking, which increase risks for obesity and cardiovascular disease.  

4. Encourage physical activities that children really enjoy

Every child is unique. Let children experiment with different activities until each finds something that he or she really loves doing. They’ll stick with it longer if they love it.  

5. Be supportive

Focus on the positive instead of the negative. Everyone likes to be praised for a job well done. Celebrate successes and help children and teens develop a good self-image.  

6. Set specific goals and limits

Such as one hour of physical activity a day or two desserts per week other than fruit. When goals are too abstract or limits too restrictive, the chance for success decreases.  

7. Don’t reward children with food

Candy and snacks as a reward encourage bad habits. Find other ways to celebrate good behavior.  

8. Make dinner time a family time

When everyone sits down together to eat, there’s less chance of children eating the wrong foods or snacking too much. Get the kids involved in cooking and planning meals. Everyone develops good eating habits together and the quality time with the family will be an added bonus.  

9. Make a game of reading food labels

The whole family will learn what’s good for their health and be more conscious of what they eat. It’s a habit that helps change behavior for a lifetime.  

10. Stay involved

Be an advocate for healthier children. Insist on good food choices at school. Make sure your children’s healthcare providers are monitoring cardiovascular indicators like BMI, blood pressure and cholesterol. Contact public officials on matters of the heart. Make your voice heard.

You probably never thought of these attachment tools, such as breastfeeding and baby wearing, as being acts of discipline, but they are. Attachment parenting is like immunizing your child against emotional diseases later on. Gina, an attached mother of three, told us: "Knowing my children empowers me." This kid knowledge becomes like a sixth sense enabling you to anticipate and control situations to keep your kids out of trouble. Our daughter-in-law, Diane, describes her experience with this style of parenting: "I know Lea so deeply at every stage of her development. Attachment parenting allows me to put myself in her shoes. I imagine how she needs me to act."

1. Attachment parenting promotes mutual sensitivity 

At six years of age Matthew would come to me with a request, "Dad, I think I know the answer, but…" Because our mutual sensitivity and trust is so high, he knows when to expect a "yes" and when to expect a "no" answer. He tests me, but knows my answer. The connected parent and child easily communicate each other’s feelings. Once connected to your child you will be able to read his body language and appropriately redirect behavior, and your child will be able to read your desires and strive to please you. As one connected parent put it: "All I have to do is look at him disapprovingly and he stops misbehaving."

2. Attachment parenting produces people who care

General Norman Schwarzkopf once said, "Men who can’t cry scare me." Many of the world’s problems can be traced to one group of people being insensitive to the needs and rights of another group. One of the mothers in my practice arranged a talk for a group of attachment mothers, and she invited one of the survivors of the Holocaust to come and tell her story. Commenting on the social benefits of sensitive parenting, the survivor concluded her talk, "Because of children like these, this tragedy will never happen again."

3. Attachment parenting organizes babies

To understand better how attachment parenting organizes infant behavior, think of a baby’s gestation as lasting eighteen months – nine months inside the womb, and at least nine more months outside. The womb environment regulates the baby’s systems automatically. Birth temporarily disrupts this organization. Attachment parenting provides a gentle, sensitive, external regulating system that takes over where the womb left off. When a mother carries her baby her rhythmic walk, familiar from the baby’s time in the womb, has a calming effect. When the baby is cuddled close to his mother’s breast, her heartbeat reminds him of the sounds of the womb. When baby is draped across mom or dad’s chest, he senses the rhythmic breathing. Being kept warm and held close, calms him and helps him control his reflexes. This high-touch style of parenting with its emphasis on keeping the baby comfortable has a regulating effect on the infant’s disorganized rhythms. Baby knows where he belongs. With his needs for food, warmth, comfort and stimulation receiving predictable responses, the attachment- parented baby is physiologically better off. A 1993 study from Virginia Tech compared sleep-wake patterns and heart rates of breast and bottle-fed babies. The breastfed babies showed more energy-efficient heart rates and sleep patterns. They were more organized. The researchers concluded: a baby who isn’t breastfeeding is like an engine out of tune.

4. Attachment parenting promotes quiet alertness

Both research and our own experience have demonstrated that attachment-parented babies cry much less. So what do they do with their free time? They spend much of it in the state of quiet alertness. During waking hours, babies go through many types of behavior: crying, sleepy, alert and agitated, and quietly alert. Babies are most attentive to their environment in the state of quiet alertness. By not fussing and crying, they conserve their energy and use it for interacting. The result is they are more pleasant to be with. Because a responsive parent takes time to enjoy the baby when he is in this state, the baby is motivated to stay in the state of quiet alertness longer.

5. Attachment parenting promotes trust

Being in charge of your child is an important part of discipline. Children need to know that they can depend on their parents not only to meet their needs but also to keep them on the right path. Authority is vital to discipline, and authority must be based on trust. It is crucial for baby to trust that he will be kept safe. An attachment-parented baby learns to trust the one person who is strongly connected to him. When an infant can trust his mother to meet his needs, he will also look to her to help him behave.

6. Attachment parenting promotes independence

If you are wondering whether attachment parenting will make your child clingy and dependent, don’t worry. Attachment parenting actually encourages the right balance between dependence and independence. Because the connected child trusts his parents to help him feel safe, he is more likely to feel secure exploring his environment. In fact, studies have shown that toddlers who have a secure attachment to their mother tend to adapt easier to new play situations and play more independently than less attached toddlers.

7. Attachment parenting promotes intimacy

Attachment-parented kids have a look about them. You can spot them in a crowd. They are the persons looking intently at other persons. They seem to be genuinely interested in other people. I love to engage these children in visual contact because they are so attentive. The reason these kids look you straight in the eyes is they have grown up from birth being comfortable connecting to people, and they connect appropriately. Their gaze is not so strained or penetrating as to put off the other person; nor so shallow as to convey lack of interest. It’s just the right visual fix to engage people and hold their interest.

Much of a child’s future quality of life (mate and job satisfaction) will depend on their capacity for intimacy. Therapists we interviewed shared that much of their time is spent working with persons who have problems with intimacy, and much of their therapy is aimed at reparenting their patients. Because connected kids grow up learning to bond with people rather than things, they carry this capacity for intimacy into adulthood. Many a nights I watched two-year-old Lauren inch over and snuggle next to Martha in bed. Even at this young age Lauren is learning a lifelong asset—the capacity for feeling close.

8. Attachment parenting builds better-behaved brains

The developing brain of an infant resembles miles of tangled electrical wire called neurons. At the end of each neuron tiny filaments branch out to make connections with other neurons, forming pathways. This is one of the ways the brain develops patterns of association.: habits, and ways of acting and thinking, in other words, organization. Attachment parenting creates a behavioral equilibrium in a child that not only organizes a child’s physiology but her psychological development as well. In a nutshell, attachment parenting helps the developing brain make the right connections.

The unconnected child, however, is at risk for developing disorganized neurological pathways, especially if that infant has come wired with more than the average share of disorganized pathways. This child is at risk of developing behavioral problems later on, namely hyperactivity, distractibility, and impulsivity – features of an increasingly prevalent "disease" in childhood (and now adulthood) – attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A person’s brain grows more in the first three years than anytime in life. Could the level of nurturing during those formative years affect the way the behavioral pathways in the brain become organized? We believe it does, and we also believe that research will soon confirm that many later child and adult behavioral problems are really preventable diseases of early disorganization.

9. Attachment parenting helps you discipline the difficult child

This style of parenting is especially rewarding in disciplining kids we call high-need children. Sometimes parents don’t realize until their child is three or four years of age that they have a special child who needs a special kind of discipline (for example, a hyperactive child, a developmentally delayed child, or a temperamentally difficult child). By helping you shape your child’s behavior and increase your sensitivity to the child’s special needs, attachment parenting gives you the right start that increases your chances of having the right finish. Connected parents have a head start in disciplining high-need children because they are sensitive to their child’s personality. The connected high-need child is easier to discipline because he is more responsive to his parents. One of the reasons temperamentally difficult children are difficult to discipline is they are disorganized. As we discussed earlier, attachment promotes organization. In fact, studies comparing the long-term effects of early parenting styles on a child’s later development show that attachment parenting (or the lack of it) most affects the character trait of adaptability (the ease with which a child’s behavior can be redirected to the child’s and parents’ advantage). Adaptable children are better prepared to adjust to life’s changing circumstances. They learn to accept correction from others and eventually correct themselves. Some children are born puzzles. Attachment parenting helps you put the pieces together.

10. Attachment parenting encourages obedience

The real payoff of attachment parenting is obedience. To "obey" means "to listen attentively." This style of parenting, besides opening up parents to the needs of their baby, also opens up the baby to the wishes of the parents. The universal complaint of parents is "My child won’t mind." Think about this term "to mind." What does it mean? As a child normally goes from dependence to independence and searches for an identity, the child minds his own mind. So, your child is minding, but he’s minding his own mind and not yours. How compliant your child is depends upon your child’s temperament, which you can’t control, and the depth of your parent-child connection, which you can influence. Because your minds mesh, the connected child is more open to accept your redirection and switch from his mindset to yours and to listen to you instead of being closed to you. The connected child trusts that his mother knows best. The attached child wants to please.

Even the iron-willed child bends to the will of the mother or father who operate on the parenting principle "The stronger my child’s will, the stronger must be my connection." It is this connection that gives parents confidence. Wanting to please and trying to obey are the behavioral trademarks of the connected child. Nancy, the mother of a high-need baby, now a strong-willed four-year-old volunteered: "Initially attachment parenting took more energy and was less convenient. Now caring for Jonathan is easier because discipline flows naturally between us. I’m finally beginning to cash in on my investment."