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 “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last –more than passion or even sex,” said Simone Signoret. The stronger your threads are, the better your relationship or marriage will be.

1. Untangle money issues

“Often, when couples argue about money, it’s not money that’s the problem,” says William Harley, PhD, author of His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-proof Marriage. “Instead, the money fights are a byproduct of relationship neglect.” Money can become a weapon when one spouse uses the other’s spending habits as ammunition or when a spouse spends money to get even. To improve a bad relationship, figure out exactly what you’re arguing about.

2. Take risks together

Trying new things together, such as sky diving or learning about astronomy, unites you as a couple. Psychology professor Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado explains that happiness is found in what you do (not what you buy) because experiences are open to positive reinterpretations, become a meaningful part of your identity, and contribute to a happy marriage or relationship.

3. Get angry!

Expressing anger and resolving conflict not only improve a bad relationship and keeps your love alive, it also lengthens your life span. “When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict,” says Ernest Harburg, researcher and professor emeritus at the University of Michigan. “Usually nobody is trained to do this.” His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face early death as those who express it. 

Marriage and family counselor Lisa Brookes Kift offers these tips for keeping your relationship strong and your love alive: 

4. Commit to checking in with each other

every day – or at least a few times a week without distractions.  Marriages often get “dry” when couples get busy and don’t prioritize each other and get a read or take the pulse of how the other is feeling.  This tip for improving a bad relationship and improving your love life will help you stay committed.

5. Crack each other up

stupid pet names, looks they give each other or whatever.  Humor has a knack for binding couples together and de-escalating conflict.  It also demonstrates friendship in the marriage, which is very important. 

6. Be mindful of criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness

If a lot of any or all of these exist in a marriage – research has shown that the chances are much higher for divorce. Criticism and contempt do not keep love alive; in fact, it’ll thwart your relationship goals for good.

Psychologist Bruce Eimer offers these tips for keeping your relationship healthy: 

7. Remember the romantic beginnings

To improve a bad relationship, visualize the person you dated and married. To improve a bad relationship, remember that person is still alive inside of him. The stressors and tribulations of life may have made that inner goodness hard to see.  

8. Appreciate your partner

Look at your husband and take a moment to appreciate all of the things that he does for you and gives you.  You may in fact want to express your appreciation for him verbally and/or non-verbally. To keep your relationship strong, tell your husband what you like about him and watch him beam.  You’ll beam too!

9. Keep dating

Make one day a week a special day–a day during which to schedule a “goody time” – to keep your love alive.  This can be any shared activity that you both can appreciate (such as a dinner out, going to the movies, etc.). 

10. Keep communicating

Research shows that contempt and holding back communication are harbingers of marital trouble and potential failure. So, find things about your spouse to appreciate and respect, and don’t stonewall.  To improve a bad relationship, talk, touch, and communicate.

Break ups are never easy. You are a bundle of jealous, hurt, angry, resentful emotions. Your mood can swing from depression to bitter anger. The only thing you seem to think about is what went wrong, can I get him/her back or I’ll show him/her. The main theme in your life is ‘How can I feel better right NOW?’ Here are some suggestions that I hope will help. 

1. Friends and Family

I know this may seem obvious but lean on your friends and family. Spend time doing things together, not just talking and thinking about the break up. If this isn’t enough, you may consider a support group or counseling. 

2. Resist the urge to beg

You want them back but not at any price. At the time it may seem the right thing to do but think about it. In the long run they will lose respect for you. This doesn’t mean don’t try to work things out. If there is a chance you can work things out, go for it. However, if your partner has made it clear that in their eyes, the relationship is over, begging will not help and may hurt the situation. 

3. Make a change in your life

Find a new way to spend your time. Take a class, join a gym, adopt a pet, or volunteer. Do anything that will make you feel good about yourself. Your ego is probably feeling bruised right now. Find a way to counteract that. 

4. Understand your mistakes but also realize that you are not a failure

Don’t beat yourself up. If you made mistakes, then yes, learn from them but dwelling on what might have been won’t help. It takes two to make a relationship, it also takes two to end one. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes. It may not seem useful to you now, but a lot of times the things you learned from this experience will make your next relationship stronger, as long as you make the necessary changes.

5. Start Dating

You won’t feel like it at first, but don’t stay away from other people for an extended period of time. Going out with other people can help the healing process and boast your ego. 

6. Don’t fall prey to others

There will be people trying to sell you this or that, guaranteed to win back your partner. Don’t let people take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. If you do buy something, understand that while there is a chance it could help, there is also a chance that it won’t. 

7. Take up a hobby

Learn something new. There is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time. You have the time, do it. 

8. Don’t rush into another relationship

While starting to date can help you feel better, it’s not a good idea to rush right into another relationship. Take time to heal before making any commitments or someone will probably end up getting hurt.  

9. Avoid dwelling on it

I know it’s impossible not to think about it, but, if you find yourself doing so for an extended period of time, find a way to take your mind off of it. Call a friend; go to the gym, whatever comes to mind. If nothing seems to work, try this: Make a list of reasons why you are better off now. This could include I have time to do the things I want to do. I can date anyone I want to. I can find a partner who will appreciate me the way I am and stop wasting time on a doomed relationship. Think about the things they did that drove you crazy, because there are some. Don’t look back with rose colored glasses and only remember the good things. Don’t have the idea in your head that if only we were back together I would be happy. Wrong. Wouldn’t they have a lot to answer for if you did get back together? Leaving you was probably the biggest mistake they will ever make. Let them dwell on it, you move on! 

10. Build your ego

I’ve touched on this already but it is very important. Find ways to feel better about yourself. This could be anything from getting a haircut to buying some new clothes. You could take a class on self improvement. If nothing else, you should do this: Make a list of things that make you a great person. Don’t sit there and tell me you can’t think of anything. I don’t buy it. Try again. Are you kind? Patient? Intelligent? Cook like a pro? Can fix anything? There are things that make you great. WRITE them down and whenever you feel low, read your list and add to it. You are you and you are great so don’t let anyone ever make you feel that you aren’t.

Marriage is a wonderful thing if you know how to cultivate it. If you take the time to make sure your wife is aware of the way you feel, then you often will find that they very much feel the same way. A woman is not driven as much by physical things as they are by emotional things. The right words are like magic when it comes to a woman’s heart. Still, your actions play a big part as well and can deliver that same emotional high that a well placed comment provides. Here are ten ways to say “I Love You” to your wife:

1. Help at home

Get of your hind end and do the dishes, vacuum, do the laundry, etc…. Whatever tasks your wife normally does around the house, you should sneak up and do them for her at least once a week. The key here is to do them when she is not expecting it, and when she really needs it.

2. Take her to your special place for no good reason

Every couple has a place that means something to them. Sometimes that might be a diner, or a park just outside the city. Regardless of where your special place is, keep it special by taking her when nothing special is going on.

3. Draw her a bath after a long day

Nothing is more relaxing and says I Love You like a nice warm bath that you did not have to work for. Your relationship will love you back and your wife will too.

4. Take the time to talk for the sake of learning about her

Too many men pass over the wonders of what makes a woman special. Learn why she feels a certain way, thinks a certain way, and lives a certain way. You will love her more and she will feel that love through your interest.

5. Close your mouth when she is speaking

If you are talking over your wife, you are telling her that she does not matter. Just because we are men that naturally want to dominate the conversation does not mean that we should talk over our wives. Listen to her and you just might learn something. You will also be showing her that you love and respect what she has to say.

6. Spend some time going over the old pictures and make a memory book

While this may seem kind of hokey, it is a ton of fun. Nothing is more fun than to go back over all the good times you have shared, and the book will thrill your wife like nothing else.

7. Hold her hand when you go places

This simple gesture of love is often overlooked after years of marriage and I assure you it bothers your wife if you do not do it. More importantly, it says I Love You when you do.

8. Ask her opinion on important issues that you normally handle

While we fall into routines in our marriages, it is important to still let your wife know that her opinion matters in those things that you are handling. Day to day decisions can become very bland if you do not mix things up a bit.

9. Renew your wedding vows every single day

This is a simple gesture that takes about five minutes. It does not mean that you should recite your wedding vows each day. It means to let your wife know why you love her every single day in some way. Something your wife does triggers love in you every day, and you should make sure she knows what that is.

10. Give her a weekend getaway….without you

This one is a bit complicated, but the bottom line is we are all individuals. Let her know that you trust her and care for her well being by setting up a getaway with her girlfriends on the sly, or setting up a day of pampering for her and a friend. Absence does make the heart grow fonder after all.

Women are very much paying attention to what we do guys. If you do not take the time to say I love you in as many ways as possible, the relationship will suffer. Spend some time thinking about how you can show your wife what she means to you for no good reason. You will be amazed at the marriage it creates.

Wondering how to keep romance alive in your marriage? Well, a new book has offered some simple tips to keep your relationship flourishing.

1. Stay spontaneous

Do something that looks unplanned such as dropping in to your partner’s office and taking him to lunch, packing a little gift in his briefcase or getting tickets to a concert or the theatre.

2. Make loving gestures 

While having dinner, you can put on soft music, light candles and tell your partner how much you’ve been thinking of him/her during the day.3.

3. Make eye contact

Face your partner when he/she is speaking to you. Eye contact makes you feel more connected.

4. Agree to disagree

Try and avoid arguments with your partner. Next time you disagree, shock him/her in the nicest possible way by saying: ”You’re right.”

5. Embrace change 

Surprise your partner by getting a new look. A quick and easy way to do this could be to dye your hair, restyle it or get a wig for fun.

6. Do something unexpected

Offer to do something your partner won’t expect, like sensually washing his/her hair in a candlelit bath or having a warm towel ready when he/she steps out of the shower.

7. Celebrate your love 

Do something symbolic such as planting a special bush or buying a pot plant that is your partner’s favorite variety and let him/her know that it represents your love.

8. Do a favor

Try one little chore that benefits your partner directly, such as dropping his laundry at the dry cleaners. Such things take only minutes but show how much you care.

9. Cozy up to your rival

If there’s someone in your partner’s life you consider to be a rival, such as his best friend or mother, stop arguing about them and surprise your partner by inviting them over for a lovely dinner.

10. Relive the past

Looking at holiday snaps, family photos or wedding pics can also help in making a relationship stronger.

Your boyfriend has gained some weight and you don’t know how to tell him that it would be better for him to give up pizza and beer. Well, we prepared you 10 ways to say it without breaking his heart. Are you ready? Attack!

You can’t just cross your arms and announce him loudly that he gained weight and that you’re leaving him in 3 months if he doesn’t do something about. Well, theoretically you can, but we know that you’re too elegant to do it (I think). So, here are 10…sensitive ways to express your opinion about his new belly.

1. Buy clothes with a few sizes smaller

After he tries them and obvious, he discovers that the clothes are too small, tell him surprised "Oh, I’m sorry, but 5 months ago you were wearing a size M! What happened? Maybe we can took it to a tailor and make some adjustments. It will look somehow weird, but it’s all right, isn’t it?"

He will surely feel strange and do something about. If not, you should insist and go on the next tip.

2. Offer him a subscription to the classes of a famous coach

He won’t accept fitness classes, but if he knows that you spent a considerable amount of money on that class, he will be forced to participate, whether he wants it or not.

3. Establish a weight loss program for two

Tell him initially that you want to create a weight loss program only for you, but ask him to weigh himself, as a game. When the needle will indicate a weight above the normal one, you should say: "Very well, you’ll be included in my program!"

4. Give him small portions of food

Does he want to eat 3 meals for dinner? That’s fine, but no more than 200 grams of food! If he wants more, remind him that a few months ago he wasn’t eating so much. There is no need to not serve him; just be polite, give him food, but always mention about how much he eats!

5. Improve the weight loss diet for couples

Are you both eating unhealthy? Then you should gradually change the family’s eating habits. If he won’t have temptations near him, maybe he will succeed to loose weight faster.

6. Pinch and gather

Play with his belly and pinch the adipose tissue, even if he says he likes it; the truth may be different. He will become conscious about his extra pounds and maybe he will start doing something about.

7. Ask him to wear a T-shirt/ shirt that he was wearing some time ago

Remind him about "that" T-shirt, which he worn at your first date; if he doesn’t find it, help him to search better, and if he no longer fits in it…tell him that he gained weight.

8. Break the chair

Well, here you need dexterity. Remove a few screws, as your partner has to break the chair (accidentally, of course) when he sits on sit. He will surely get worried!

9. Add some testimonials

Place some pictures with him around the house, living memories of that "x" pounds that he was having just a few months/ years ago. When he will face the proofs, he will understand the message.

10. On the sunny beach

Your holiday destination should be a tropical one. Before leaving, take him to a pool and ask him to undress in public, as he will be too timid to do it; as a result, he will try to loose weight in order to look hot on holiday.

Good luck!!

1. You’re Always Missing the Toilet

Ugh, if I had a dollar every time a woman has chewed me out for peeing on the toilet seat, I’d have hmm let me think, … twenty dollars. Well, you know the drill guys. It’s dark, you’re sleepy and you’ve got to go. It’s so much easier to just keep your eyes closed and hope for the best as you guide yourself in the general direction of the toilet. Of course, you risk one pissed off woman and some snaky comments about a wet seat the next morning. (Get is, pissed?) But it’s not like you can help it, right?

Well, now you have an easy way to avoid the problem. With this LED Self-Glowing Toilet Seat, it will serve as a beacon for you to follow to your much needed release. What’s also helpful is that even with your eyes closed, you will have a better sense of where to shoot.

2. You Never Tell Her You Love Her

I don’t know what it is with women. Why is it that they need to be told again and again and again and again that you love them? Why oh why is it that telling them once or even a few times a year is not enough? For my wife, and for millions of women like her, if five minutes goes by without me saying I love her, she starts wondering. And wondering is no good, because then she’ll start thinking. And thinking can be disastrous as she could start thinking of more ways to fix me! I spend a lot of time getting her to think about anything but me. Also, saying "I Love You" all the time is exhausting. Never-mind the fact that I always feel like some weepy, little boy clinging to his mommy when I say it. It’s just not manly!  

Well, with this device (that is manly in that sort of macho tech way), you will rarely have to say those mushy words again. Now, every time she asks, you can just point to the flashing heart you just spent your weekend soldering for her with manly tools. If she presses you, yell "It’s still flashing, ain’t it?" and glare at her real macho and gruff as you say it. It’s sure to make her hot, don’t you think? 

3. You Always Look Like a Mess

It’s hard for most men to even get up the enthusiasm to brush their teeth everyday. Frankly, I think if women were not around, some of us would do it …umm … after all our teeth fell out. Given the inherent laziness that we males have about how well groomed we are, many of us do tend to get a bit shabby looking. Of course, your woman probably wants you to bathe and shave and get a haircut way too often for comfort. To me, a man looks a bit suspicious if he’s too well trimmed. But if your mate is nagging you constantly to get a look like some freshly shorn male model, you may score a lot of points by getting your hair trimmed more than once a year.  

The Flow bee is a way to avoid having to drag yourself to the barber and wasting your money on some stupid haircut. Now, you can do it with very little pain or inconvenience. Who knows, you may even be able to convince her to use it. Won’t that make her excited?

4. You Never Hear Her When She’s Talking 

The most likely reason you never hear her is because you are intentionally ignoring her, but if that’s not the case or if you want to pretend that that’s not the true reason, buy yourself the Bionic Ear. You can show it off to her and use it as a prop to tell her that with this amazing noise amplifier, you will finally be able to hear all of the painful details of why Cindy needs liposuction and why Joanna is jealous of Cindy. Isn’t it interesting how the sad little hearing aid can sound so manly and appealing when it’s called "bionic". What’s really great is that once you get this product, you can shut it off when you don’t want to hear what she has to say, and then blame it on the gadget. Cool, huh?

5. You Can’t Rise to the Occasion

With the daily stresses and demands of life, as well as the fact that you’ve been with her a million times; sex is just not as exciting a proposition as it once was. We all have occasions where we are not up to dancing in the sheets. If she is incessantly yanking at you to do it (while she sits there looking at you with green face cream on her mug), and you would still rather do it with her than get yourself a younger fresher model, then I have the solution. It’s a magical little blue pill hidden discreetly in a nice looking ring. The travel ring ensures that no matter where you are, your ready, when she’s ready to go. Not even she needs to know that you’re not the man you used to be.

6. You Fart Too Much

I don’t know any man that does not have this problem in some form or another. I think it’s all the beer. I am rather proud of them, especially the really loud ones, but my wife is embarrassed by them. If you need to freshen the air around you, you should try the flatulence deodorizer. It may not look like much, but that’s the point. No one is supposed to know you are wearing what the merchant describes as "an activated charcoal cloth pad that is worn taped inside the underwear next to the buttocks." Now, all you have to do is figure out how to manage the noise and you should be good to let one rip. Now, even if she hears you, since there’s no stink, you can just tell her she’s just hearing things. How fun is that going to be?

7. You Never Admit It When You Have a Problem

If you’re like me, you tend to keep your problems to yourself (or admit them only in an anonymous blog). But for some unfathomable reason, women always want you to talk out loud about something you’d rather keep to yourself. They always want to share and then when you share, all hell breaks loose. Women are constantly asking "What are you thinking?" and "How are you feeling?" After haranguing you with questions until you finally give up and talk about something just to get her to quit bugging you, you end up with more problems. If you tell her something, she’s quickly onto her next "recording" about why you never admit it when you have a problem and that the first step in fixing your problem is to talk about it with others. For me and for most men, I think the best way to not have a problem is to ignore it.

8. You Drink Way Too Much

Does your girl constantly nag you about drinking too much? Does she glower at you every time you pick up a beer can? Does she pointedly ask "Are you drinking another one?" with that shrewish, I swallowed a lemon look on her face? Well, here’s a way to argue no more! It’s so easy to use these Hide-A-Beer Can Wrappers and they are available in all the popular soda flavors. Just cover up your beer can with these beauties and she’ll think you’re just drinking a pop. Just make sure that you pick a flavor she hates so she won’t be tempted to take a sip. Perhaps you should also get some from your friends so you can all drink some soda together.

9. You Never Get Her Anything Pretty

No matter how generous and thoughtful you are to your mate, it’s my experience that your woman won’t be satisfied. Women always want more.

If your woman frequently complains that you always get her practical gifts and that she wants something fun and pretty, this may be the answer to your problems. (Frankly, she should just be grateful she got anything at all, but that’s the topic for another article.)  

Dish-washing gloves are normally for washing dishes and if you are being practical, there is no need for them to be pretty. But if she is insisting that you stop being so practical, and she keeps mooning for something sparkly that she can show off to her friends and use brag about how thoughtful you are, these silly concoction of pink, fur and baubles should really do the trick. You think she’ll be happy now?

10. You Never Hold Hands or Show Enough Affection

Some women have a need to be affectionate…constantly. They always want to hold hands or otherwise touching you in some way. If you find that difficult and you would rather only touch when you are getting down to business, you and your girl may have some serious conflicts about this.  

If it’s not in your nature to seek her hand, these Holding Hand Mittens may be perfect for you. If you go out with your mate and its cold outside, you have the choice of catching frostbite and losing your fingers or holding hands with her. Given those choices, you are likely to hold hands a lot more often than you used to. Of course, I would quickly hide the Smitten if anyone can see you. Frostbite is way better than looking like some whipped loser.

So it’s been several months since the breakdown of your relationship and you have been working through the process the best you can.

Everyone moves through the emotional stages of separation and divorce differently – each in their own time and way. I encourage you to take a look at how far you’ve come and acknowledge and congratulate yourself for all your hard work.

Here are 10 useful ways to help you to manage your emotions through this difficult time:

1. Know That Trips Down Memory Lane Are Inevitable

There will be times when you think about the good and the bad times, the laughter and the tears. Don’t fight it, accept that this is part of the process and allow yourself to feel all your emotions.

2. Trust That You’re On The Right Track

The end of a relationship brings major change, especially when children are involved. Change can be challenging and is not always easy. Trust that you are on the right track and you’re strong and can handle anything that comes your way.

3. Identify The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

It’s healthy to acknowledge the reasons why your relationship didn’t work. Make a list of all the good and bad characteristics, behaviors and circumstances that made up your relationship. Take time to reflect on these things and recognize what lessons you can learn and take into a new relationship.  

4. Take Responsibility For The Role You Played

If a relationship fails, both parties are responsible. This may be hard for you to hear or accept but in any relationship both people are responsible for the health and stability of that relationship. By taking responsibility for the part you played in the breakdown of your relationship and letting go of fault and blame, you can fully let go of the past and move forward, towards a happy future.

5. Grab Your Support Team

Whenever you feel the need reach out to a trusted friend for support and comfort. Often by simply sharing your feelings with someone else the intensity of your emotions will lighten and you will instantly feel better.

6. Look After Yourself

A healthy body promotes a healthy mind. So take extra care and make sure you’re getting enough rest, nourishment, exercise and time out.

7. Prioritize Me Time

Take time out to do things you enjoy. Have fun, let your hair down and enjoy the simple pleasures that life has to offer.

8. Be Honest With Yourself About Your Feelings

Take the time to sit with your feelings, what are they really about? What is the issue the source of the discomfort? Is it really about your ex, or something bigger? Often the intensity of our feelings has little to do with the current situation, sometimes feelings, pain and beliefs from past events are triggered heightening our reaction to the current situation. Dig deep and ask yourself where are these feelings coming from, are they familiar? Try and separate the past and the present, by doing so you may find that you’re not as upset as you thought you were. 

9. Be Grateful For All Your Blessings

Some people find it useful to keep a gratitude journal. Everyday write down all the things you’re grateful for. You will quickly see that you have a lot of great things in your life and this will help you to see a positive, fulfilling future.

10. Build Your Self Confidence

Relationship breakups can cause major havoc to your self-esteem. Take the time to get to know yourself and discover what a great person you are! Yes, you!

Once you have rediscovered all your wonderful qualities and skills you will realise that you can live happily without your ex and that true happiness exists within you.

About the author:  Rebecca is the Director of Two Homes Pty Limited. http://www.twohomes.com.au was created specifically to help, educate and empower separated parents.

Visit http://www.twohomes.com.au to easily access local information, resources and tools about separation, divorce, parenting and moving forward.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rebecca_Jackson

We’re moms, so we get it… just figuring out what quick-n-easy dish to cook up for family dinners is challenging enough – much less bringing some excitement to the dinner table. Here, a few of our favorite ideas for spicing things up. Tailor the ideas to suit your time line, budget, and the ages of your kids. And by all means, make the kids part of the fun-planning process.

1. Paper Play

Take a cue from bistros and casual family-style restaurants by covering the table with a roll of art paper. Then place cups of crayons on the table and let everyone dig in with some doodling while they dine.

2. Customized Cuisine

Cook up a feast that each member of the family can customize to their own liking. Start with plain cheese quesadillas, bowls of pasta, or individual pizzas – then fill the table with bowls of roasted veggies, grated cheese, crumbled bacon, toasted pine nuts, fresh herbs, and other goodies so each person can have a blast creating their own mouthwatering masterpiece.

3. Game On

Q&A or word games can jazz up tired dinner conversation – whether it’s having everyone name three famous people they’d love to have to dinner, making up a crazy story together (going around the table, each person says one line), or sharing flash cards of foreign words.

4. Make A Menu

Print out a menu of the evening’s dinner selections – easy to do using your computer. You can get a bit fancy if you like, adding graphics or splitting the meal into several “courses,” restaurant-style. What better way to fancify your family dinner when it’s feeling a little dull?

5. Wine & Dine

Serve juice out of recycled wine bottles — Martinelli’s-style. Wash old wine bottles and save the corks then fill them with apple or grape juice. You can even print out your own family “wine labels” off the computer. Kids will love it!

6. Get Foiled

Give each child a piece of aluminum foil and let them mold cool shapes, flowers or animals – a fun way to keep them entertained and bring a little creativity to the dinner table.

7. Paint Your Plate

Spend a family day together at a paint-your-own pottery center, like Color Me Mine. Each person can decorate a dinner plate or bowl with his or her own unique design. Mealtime becomes so much more fun when it has a personal touch.

8. Think Small

Serve up a dinner made entirely of finger foods and “mini” items – cocktail hotdogs and meatballs, bite-size quiches, and tiny “trees” made from broccoli.

9. Eat Egg-cellent!

Doing “breakfast for dinner” is a favorite pastime. Take it to a whole new level by experimenting with new takes on old standards. Sweet potato pancakes, garlic grits, and scrambled eggs with gruyere, anyone?

10. Go Retro

Spice up dinner-time with a dose of retro flair – fondue for all to dip into, some Motown music playing in the background (Aretha Franklin, The Supremes, Al Green), and for dessert, Oreos and milk!

My goal has always been to be available and have a flexible schedule for Jackson. I started my own shortly after he was born, and have never looked back. It has been an amazing four years-lots of personal growth, discoveries, and negotiating. The flexibility that comes from owning your own business cannot be matched by any employer. Nothing is more satisfying than peaceful morning snuggles, being home to care for my boy when he’s sick (without getting anyone’s permission), and working when I want to work.

Below you will find 10 Ways to Balance Work and Family. But first and foremost, the easiest way to do so is to own your own business. I highly recommend finding a Direct Selling Business that you are passionate about. It’s the quickest, easiest way to create Work/Family Balance.

Secondly, whether you own your own business or not, it’s hard being a mother! We pile a lot on our plates (and then some) and try and balance later.

Rather than trying to balance everything, learn to blend and leverage tasks. And if you haven’t started your own business yet, take the leap! It’s something you’ll NEVER regret!

So, on to the list…10 Ways to Balance (or blend and leverage) Work and Family

1. Schedule a Weekly Family Meeting

Ours is every Sunday night. This is a time for the entire family to discuss what’s on the books and what is expected of each member of the family for the week. I’ve found it just eases stress when everyone, hubby especially, knows what nights we will be busy and how they can help and contribute. We make it  fun and have deemed it “Sundae Sunday Night”, and yes, ice cream sundaes are served!

2. Create a Family Calendar

We posted a wipe-off calendar in our mudroom so everyone can see it on their way out each morning. Only post info that which pertains to the family. Sports, doctor appointments, daddy nights, even meal planning, but it’s not necessary to put all of your daily tasks on the Family Calendar. That would just stress everyone out, so keep it simple.

3. Exercise Calendar Control

In other words, learn to manage your calendar. The simplest way to keep my life in check is by color coding. I highlight everything on my calendar and put them in the following categories: Work (green), Personal (pink), Jackson’s Activities (blue), Family Activities (yellow), and Husband’s Activities (orange). By highlighting, I can see at a glance whether Jackson can take on another activity, or if I need to blend in more personal time. It may not be perfectly “balanced” within each day, or sometimes even in a week, but when I look back at my month, it’s pretty colorful!

4. Schedule Family First

My calendar always has family commitments scheduled 6 months in advance so I can schedule work around family, not the other way around. This way I never miss anything that’s important to me. This gives me the leverage to turn down requests that might otherwise take away from family time. I also make sure to schedule non-negotiable days off, and “me” time. Imperative for my sanity!

5. Learn to say “No”

Or… “This week isn’t good for me, how about…”. Or, “I really have to much on my plate right now.”. Or just “No”. Don’t worry ladies, being assertive is not the same as being a #%?&*!

6. Dust off the ‘ole Crockpot

Ok, well if it’s that old and dusty, purchase a new one so you know it’s cooking at a safe temperature. But really, make friends with your crockpot. While it does save a little bit of time, the real benefit is that it defers dinner prep to a time other than the “witching hour”. Be sure to check my blog often for some of my favorite quick and easy dinners, including my favorite crockpot recipes. It is possible to have quick, healthy, and nutritious meals that don’t include a drive-thru.

7. Speaking of Nutritious

I found this great, plastic vegetable tray with a lid and chilled liner to keep everything fresh. Here’s why I love it- every Sunday I fill it up with a variety of vegetable and a different dip in the center compartment. Sometimes, I change out the dip with some nuts or other protein snack for more variety. I pull it out while I’m cooking dinner for a healthy option to the pre-dinner munchies. It’s also great for nights I’m not home. Make it easy on hubby and have quick, simple menus prepared. These make great options for nights the kids want to help make dinner also.

8. Find Back-Up Child Care

It never fails… the day I have an important meeting or event is the day my child care arrangements fall through. I usually just need help on occasion so trading days with friends, or scheduling grandma usually does the trick. But, for emergencies, or times I can’t find help, I use a local drop-in day care. This is always a special treat for Jackson. They have tons of activities, crafts, and pizza and applesauce for lunch. No reservations required. It quickly turns a stressful situation in to a delight. It can also open up extra free time. Do you know how many more errands you can run without your kids in tow? It’s worth the hourly rate!

9. Learn to Breathe

It’s amazing to me that most humans are walking around planet Earth not breathing correctly. Take one yoga class and just sit there and learn to breathe. No seriously, there’s a lot more to it that just oxygen in and out. Breathing properly can actually stop your adrenal glands and help you relax immediately. So when the kids are on your last nerve or you’ve got a difficult business decision on your plate, take a moment and just breathe.

10. Set a Daily Morning Ritual

The most important aspect of this is knowing where your life is going.  Get that focus in your life and honor it each morning. Ask yourself, “What actions am I taking today to get me closer to my goals?” Each morning take time to breathe, visualize how your day will look, and honor yourself. Spend the first minutes of your day journaling, taking a bath, or doing something that makes you feel good. Then eliminate unnecessary tasks that don’t move you closer to your goals. It is this focus that will create balance within and help you leverage and navigate each day.